Dieser Blogartikel ist auch auf Deutsch vorhanden.
Everyone knows this feeling. Sometimes life gives you lemons. A lot of it. And you just don’t seem to be getting out of misery.
The intense use of social media enhances this feeling as we humans tend to compare our own life with the other’s. Often we forget or blend out the fact that these snippets we see on instagram or tiktok are just tiny fractions, and I would say the best and carefully chosen bits, of the person’s life.
What if I tell you that there is a simple yet powerful habit which supports your mental health and strengthens your mind? What if I tell you, that it is even scientifically proven and you can implement it easily in your daily life? With a healthy mindset you can defeat struggles easier and come out of stressful events more resilient than ever. It’s gratitude.
What makes us happy?
First, we will look at the definition of happiness and what makes humans happy. Happiness is a subjective perception and very individual. It depends highly on the persons history, childhood, experiences, personal needs (like a chronic ill person often has additional needs) and expectations.
The basic needs for a happy life are, of course, shelter/housing, safety, health, food, education and social acceptance. These have to be fulfilled to live a good life. Everything above those basic needs is an „extra“.
A powerful influence is the social environment we live in. A lot of people are happy with less things, but there are plenty of people who literally buy their happiness with materialistic things like cars, expensive housing and travels, clothes, jewelry and so on.
Often it is to (subconsciously) impress other people or friends and family members. Sometimes we feel kind of forced to strive for a rich life. Advertisers and influencers also promote materialistic things more often than not.
I mean…yeah, it sounds cool to say „I have booked a trip to Malaysia and travel around the country for 3 weeks“ instead of „I chill at home, do some regional hikes and go to the movies…“ or something like this.
But with happiness it is only you who decide what makes you happy. You will never have to impress someone but you (ok, if you have small kids, then definetivley them :D). You are the one who is in charge of your happiness and you alone can rewire your brain to feel happy about things you actually like.
Every person has the right to be happy. And gratitude is one of the most powerful tools every person have to increase one’s own happiness. No talent, no money, not a lot of time required. Just a quiet minute.
What is gratitude?
A strange question as we all use the words „thanks“ or „thank you“ a lot (I hope so!). We often use it casually, when we receive help from others. We are grateful for our jobs, our house or if grandma can watch the kids for a few hours. We say „thank you“. But do we actually mean it or are aware of its meaning?
The definition in the (German) dictionary is:
- filled with a feeling of gratitude, showing this; inclined and ready to acknowledge and show appreciation for something good that has been bestowed upon one.
- rewarding, satisfying (for example, a rewarding task).
- Furthermore, grateful is also used as a synonym for „undemanding“ or „simple“, for example, a grateful plant that does not require complicated care.
In the Oxford dictionary it says „the feeling of being grateful“:
- with gratitude
- gratitude (to somebody) (for something)
- in gratitude for something
- I owe you a great debt of gratitude (= feel extremely grateful).
To be grateful means on the one hand to feel a fulfilling feeling oneself, but also to show appreciation for the corresponding circumstance, person or situation. One recognizes the good and accepts it (e.g. a gift received or a kind gesture). One can be grateful towards a person, a situation or the general circumstances and nature.
How can being grateful help?
So to feel gratitude means to consciously perceive and acknowledge a good thing. How does gratitude change our relationship to happiness?
By consciously focusing on a good gesture, a kind of reward stimulus arises intrinsically („inside“) and we feel satisfied and happy. Our three happiness hormones, serotonin, dopamine and oxytocin, are activated and thus directly influence our well-being.
According to empirical studies, grateful people are happier on average than those who do not incorporate gratitude into their daily lives as frequently. Completely independent of their financial or social status.
Thus, consciously writing down the things you are grateful for is also significantly more effective than just writing down random thoughts buzzing in your head [1].
Another effect is that gratitude subconsciously leads to better results in achieving one’s own goals, such as eating healthier [2]. Even subjective sleep quality and sleep duration have been shown to improve in many individuals who performed gratitude exercises [3].
This simple feeling can support in handling negative thoughts, difficult (emotional) situations and everyday life.
How can I implement gratitude in my daily life?
Our days are full, I understand. Fortunately, there are plenty of different ways you can implement a gratitude exercise in your life, some of which the scientists around Sansone et al. listed as follows:
| • Writing a gratitude journal for things you are grateful/thankful for |
| • Consciously thinking about someone in your life, whom you are grateful for (parents, best friends, partner, pets…) |
| • Writing (and) mailing a letter to someone you are grateful for (e. g. for a job opportunity, for a great conversation at a game, a cool experience, for support, for friendship…) |
| • Meditating on gratitude (be aware of the moment) |
| • An exercise like counting your blessings (e. g. at the end of a day/week, writing down three things which you are thankful for) |
| • Saying „thank you“ in a sincere, meaningful way, looking the person in the eyes and smiling |
| • Writing small thank you notes |
| • If you are religious, you can pray about gratitude |
The different exercises can also be combined or only one of the exercises can be chosen. Also, the frequency is up to you. Between twice a week or once a month everything is right.
For starters, however, it should be two to three times a week, so that the brain can consciously get used to the exercise before the frequency is adjusted.
It might even be better to take a bit of a break from writing things down. This is because people get used to something quickly and the effect could easily be reduced. Therefore, it’s perfectly fine to „start over“ with gratitude exercises every now and then [5].
Personally, I started with a small simple notebook I had laying around and wrote in it weekly or every two weeks. After some time I found a „Gratitude journal“ from „kurzgesagt/In a nutshell“, which I found quite great and therefore write in there from now on. But a blank notebook is enough, or you can download my free gratitude journal here.
It is also important to know that the positive effects appear differently for everyone. Some people feel a little better after just a few exercises, others need several weeks to notice the first effects. This depends mainly on the frequency and the seriousness with which you do the exercises. Be patient with yourself :-).
Good for the environment?
Another small but nonetheless great and positive effect is that gratitude can reduce your materialism. People start to question their needs and consumption behaiviour and if they really need what they are about to buy, or if they kind of „need“ it because it will sound cool telling others (or looks nice in your home when guests are over etc.).
Your personal impact on the environment decreases and even your financial stability could benefit from it. I can tell you from my own experience that I kind of almost went minimal on my gratitude journey [6].
I started to feel so thankful for so many things in my life that I did not feel the need to purchase so much stuff anymore. But that’s my personal experience. Another thing I realized is that my vacations were slowly going from hectic, full stuffed weeks and experiences to slower, thoughtful and calm trips. I appreciate nature more than ever before and I do not need to fly to exotic places (even if I can afford it).
Conclusion
Life is difficult and some people are luckier than others. And there will never be the one solution that can make it easier for everyone. But gratitude is a valuable and powerful feeling that everyone can acquire for themselves.
It costs no money and almost no time (it’s done in literally 10 seconds for thoughts!)
Through these simple gratitude methods we learn to appreciate the people around us, our families, friends and our planet a little more and to help our personal inner happiness get back on track.
It is up to each person to decide how they want to practice gratitude. If it helps you to find inner peace, you will be able to cope better with challenges and sometimes also with the arising feeling of unfairness.
I hope this little tip helps you to deal with challenging situations in a better and more reflective way and to lead a sustainable happy life.
Try to list for yourself what you are grateful for today. For which three people are you grateful in your life? For which experience in your life? And which experiences would you not want to miss?
Do not forget to download my free gratitude journal!
Stay safe and healthy 🙂
-Bavai
Sources
[1] Wong, Y. Joel, et al. „Does gratitude writing improve the mental health of psychotherapy clients? Evidence from a randomized controlled trial.“ Psychotherapy Research 28.2 (2018): 192-202.
[2] Fritz, Megan M., et al. „Gratitude facilitates healthy eating behavior in adolescents and young adults.“ Journal of Experimental Social Psychology 81 (2019): 4-14.
[3] Wood AM, Joseph S, Lloyd J, Atkins S. Gratitude influences sleep through the mechanism of pre-sleep cognitions. J Psychosom Res. 2009 Jan;66(1):43-8. doi: 10.1016/j.jpsychores.2008.09.002. Epub 2008 Nov 22. PMID: 19073292.
[4] Sansone, Randy A., and Lori A. Sansone. „Gratitude and well being: the benefits of appreciation.“ Psychiatry (edgmont) 7.11 (2010): 18.
[5] Armenta, Christina, et al. „Is lasting change possible? Lessons from the hedonic adaptation prevention model.“ Stability of happiness. Academic Press, 2014. 57-74.
[6] Polak, Emily L., and Michael E. McCullough. „Is gratitude an alternative to materialism?.“ Journal of Happiness Studies 7 (2006): 343-360.
English 
German